From The School Bus Driver to Tonya Baltazar -- The Journey to my 40th Birthday!

6 Days ago, I started a Facebook/Twitter daily post reminiscing about moments of my life leading to my 40th Birthday, but I wanted to blog about the meaning behind each post, and maybe give a slight anecdote behind each one. The purpose is it give you, the reader, an insight of the events, people, lives, loves, heartaches, mistakes, decisions, and happiness that lead me to what I am today approaching a milestone in my life....my 40th birthday....Enjoy the journey....hope it will trigger an emotion as it did with me.....

Posted on Facebook/Twitter Sept 20, 2013:

Looking forward to celebrating my 40th birthday this weekend with my beautiful and wonderful wife Tonya Baltazar. As the big day approaches, I wanted to reminisce about my 40 years on this earth...like my earliest memory of a child living in Washington when I was 5 when I got on the wrong school bus and cried, but the bus driver went out of his way to get me home

My father was in the Army, stationed in Fort Lewis, Washington. I don't remember much about this time of my life. I remember a patch of fruit patches I rode my bike through (I think it was raspberries or blueberries) and getting lost.. Yes I cried. I remember a public water hole... Not really a swimming pool crowded with kids in a Tacoma park. But most of all I remember my first day of school, how tough it was. I remember being completely confused searching for the right school bus. The buses were identified with animals but I couldn't for the life of me couldn't remember what my animal was...I think I ended up on the giraffe bus. I remember sitting there being driven to an unfamiliar neighborhood and little by little, kids emptied until I was the only kid left.. I cried and cried as i had no clue where I was. But this very nice school bus driver (wish I knew his name or what he looked like) comforted and ensured this scared little boy that he would get me home...and he did.. I got home late, most importantly I got home...I reminisce 

Posted on Facebook/Twitter Sept 21, 2013:

 

As my 40th birthday approaches, I reminisce about my middle school days, Went to a school called Piedmont in San Jose, CA for 3 months... I remember finishing second in the mile and a half run... I peeked athletically.

When I was 12 years old, my father got orders from Schofield Barracks, Hawaii to Ft Benning, Georgia. While my dad got things settled in Georgia, my mom, brother, and I lived with my Aunt in San Jose, California. I went to a school for three months called Piedmont Middle School. Not sure if the school is still around. Whenever I visit San Jose, CA, I always tell myself I have to at least drive by to see if it still exists, but never got around too..someday I will. Didn't really make any friends, but I remember my P.E. class, we had to run a mile an a half every day. I usually finished in the top 10, and every day I improved...My best finish was second, I could never beat this guy who always finished first..this guy was a freaking speed demon. Seems like he would finish his run 5 minutes ahead of us. I did have this major crush on this gal who lived in the neighborhood, Michelle Fernandez, was her name, but that quickly faded when she was being a bitch to me on the bus for no reason...lol. I reminisce...

Posted On Facebook Twitter Sept 22, 2013

As my 40th Birthday approaches, I reminisce about my high school days, I really don't have a great memory of this time of my life, but I do remember how awkward I was...didn't really fit in with any group, but was never felt like I didn't belong...guess I was lucky it that aspect

High school was a weird time. We had an interesting high school, because of it's close proximity to the Army Base, we had a diverse student body, something Spencer High School was proud to tell everyone. It made our school rather unique. I remember one of my good friends, Mario Juestel, we had a good time hanging out. High school was an awkward time for me as I never fit in with any of the cliques, but I never was felt like an outsider. I was extremely shy especially socially. In fact, I had a huge crush on this girl for two years, and I don't think I said two words to her the entire time despite the fact we had classes together. I won't reveal who she is, because ironically, I'm facebook friends with her and still never revealed my crush to her....and probably never will :) Overall, despite my awkwardness, I enjoyed my high school years, got to go to my prom with a gal who was out my league but she was nice enough to say yes when I asked her....Lilian Pelegreen, I'm talking to you. Got to play a team sport and worked on the school's yearbook during my senior year. I thinking the best part of those high school years is I sometimes get to relive those moments on Facebook as I'm facebook friends with many of them. I reminisce


Posted on Facebook/Twitter Sept 23, 2013

As my 40th birthday approaches, I reminisce about my time in the Air Force.. Had some awesome times... Some of my treasured memories was my 3 years at Charleston AFB. On the other side, the darkest times was my 3 years at Kirtland AFB, NM

My Air Force time had many ups and downs. The majority of the ups happened when I was stationed at Charleston AFB, SC. First of all, the city was beautiful: beaches, great architecture, great people, incredible food, and a small town without a big city feel to it. I often tell people my time is Charleston, South Carolina was some of the best 3 years of my life, because it came at a time when I had so little worries, where I would go to work, have fun, learned about myself both personally and professionally. If I would to ever move from Las Vegas, the first place I would look into moving too is Charleston, South Carolina. I met so many good people, had so many fond memories, and had so many great stories I could tell (But that's for another blog). The experiences in those 3 years are memories I will treasure for the rest of my life, and the friendships I made will last the rest of my life.

As incredible as my time was at Charleston, it was just as awful at Kirtland AFB, NM. I got married for the first time to a woman I had no business marrying because we weren't ready. Professionally, it nearly wrecked my Air Force Career. I worked with the worst group of people who only worked for themselves, and treated me like some second-rate citizen. It was so miserable that for a while, it jaded my outlook on the military. I was so happy when I left that duty station. If I stayed any longer and I probably wouldn't have made it. I want to mention a man named Donald Ortiz, who was the worst of the worst. He was a civilian who treated me like I was a punk, a child, and sometimes not human. I hated this man so much, the sight of him always made my blood boil to the point where I wanted to punch him every time. He conspired with my supervisors to give me the worst performance report I ever had. Mr. (and I use the term lightly) Donald Ortiz is the only human in this world that if I saw him falling off a cliff, I'd look the other way -- yes cruel, but at the time, this human treated me a like dog shit and hated him for it. Someday, I'll blog about my time in New Mexico -- it should make for an intruging entry. I reminisce

Posted on Facebook/Twitter Sept 24, 2013

As my 40th Birthday approaches, I reminisce about receiving one of the greatest gifts ever... When news of my daughter Anastacia was going to be born 9 months later

I cried with joy. I cried with laughter. I cried with happiness. I cried tears of joy. I was going to be a daddy, that was the first set of emotions I felt when my then-girlfriend, Tonya Baltazar told me she was pregnant.  My daughter Anastacia Marcelina Baltazar is a bundle of joy I never thought would make me love someone unconditionally. Having Anastacia taught me the value of love, selflessness, and sacrifice. Today, my daughter is the beacon to my happiness. Whenever I'm having a bad day at work or something awful happens in my life, I can always look into my daughter's beautiful browns eyes and those negative emotions just wash away. "Nothing is as bad as it seems, when your daughter runs into your arms after a bad day and yell DADDDYYYY!!" It happens every day I come home and it never gets old. If that could happen every day for the rest of my life, I'd be a happy man. At this point of my life, every thing I do, every important decision, every motivation is with Anastacia's well-being in mind. I'm hoping that feeling never goes away. I reminisce

Posted on Facebook/Twitter Sept 25, 2013

As my 40th birthday arrives, I reminisce about the years gone by, the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the incredible highs and the unfortunate lows, and events and people I've met through my life...I'm truly blessed. The best part is having my beautiful and loving wife in my life. She's my best friend and the absolute love of my life. Here's to the rest of my life

Life is not a straight line...it has a lot of crazy zigzags, diagonal, and winding roads we have to navigate to get to the destination we truly want. I've had many windings roads in my 40 years on this Earth. I haven't regretted too much in my life...maybe I've made some untimely decisions that put a fork in my path, but the journey has been amazing. But the road has not stopped for me, until I take my last breaths in this world, I will continue this journey I started back in 1973 in San Jose, California. I'm sure they'll be bumps in my path, but I know they'll be packets of pure joy in my life...I'm going to make sure to stop and smell the roses when I get the chance.

One last thing...I'm so happy to have my soul mate and best friend, Tonya Baltazar to be my partner in my journey to the rest of my life. I truly found my inspiration, my heart and soul. 11 Years and counting, baby, I've every second of our time together and looking forward establishing more memories with you. I don't where I've been if Tonya Baltazar hadn't entered my life, so for that, I'm truly grateful

Thank you for everyone who's touched my life....Thanks for being part of my life as I reminisce...


















 

What?? No More Main Street Station Seafood Buffet? (PART II)

The end game to all this is my wife and I will never be able to eat at the Main Street Station Seafood Buffet, one of the best value buffets in Las Vegas. It doesn't hurt it's also one of the best: RAW OYSTERS, HUGE SHRIMPS, AND OF COURSE, THE BEST CRAB LEGS IN THE CITY! Damn, it's gonna suck, but I may just go there by myself..

Now on to PART II

My iPAD became my best friend as I watched the clock crawl at a snail's pace, I was watching a WWE DVD, not sure what it was, but I remember staring at it, listening to it, but not knowing what the hell I was watching. All I remember is the nervous energy consuming my body. I kept thinking, "Let this be over already. Let my wife be okay!"

As the surgery entered the 2nd hour, I starting pacing around the waiting area like a caged tiger. According to the pre-op discussions we had with the doctors, the procedure was supposed to take an hour, but here I am, full of bottled up energy, staring at the clock entered the 2nd hour. Finally, I sat down and felt nervous, but not the excited nervous I had, but a depressing nervousness. As I continued to watch doctor after doctor come out of the operating area, I thought, What if something had gone wrong?

Finally, Tonya's doctor came out and explained to me everything went well, and I would be able to see her in an hour. I felt a rush of relief sprout from my body, and sat back down, taking a deep breaths as I did, I felt like a balloon being squeezed slowly, but it was such a great feeling knowing my wife made it through the operation.

I entered her room an hour later, and I saw a nurse working on her, She was slightly awake...I kissed her on her cheek and asked her how she felt, "Sore" she whispered. I asked her how the operation went but she was going in and out of consciousness, so I didn't push it..I was just so happy she was alive and other than looking like she got hit my freight truck, she looked healthy. Of course, the weight loss surgery didn't do anything immediately, I knew this was the beginning of the journey of the new Tonya Baltazar.

There was a moment, when I was sitting next to her as she slept, that I stared out her hospital room and saw the moon shining brightly on the hot Vegas Night and the starts glisenting through the midnight blue sky, that I had a vision. A year from now, she would lose the 100LBs like she read on those gastric sleeve forums, she would feel healthy like she read on those gastric sleeve forums, she would be happy like she read on those gastric sleeve forums. I remember thinking, I can't wait to see what my beautiful wife would be like a year from then. I remember thinking, she was beautiful on the inside, but a year from then she'd be even more beautiful then she was now. I remember thinking, I can't wait for those 365 days to pass and I would see how my wife would look like...and I smiled.

Next Friday, will be the one-year anniversary of that surgery and did everything I thought come true. You damn sure it did:

The happiness she has now isindescribable. She tells her friends, family, and or course her husband that this is the best decision she's ever made in her life. Every time,  she comes home, she always has a story of how someone says how great she looks especially those who hadn't seen her in a while. The glow in her face, the beam of her smile, the look of pure joy written all over her makes me, as her biggest supporter, the happiest, jubilent, and most importantly, the luckiest man in this world.

Goddamn.....I'm so lucky!!

What?? No More Main Street Station Buffet?? (PART I)

There's a very important anniversary coming up for someone very special in my life. As many of you know, my wife Tonya Baltazar means a hellava lot to me. I don't know where my life would be without her, so if I could help her in any way possible I would.

I've been with my wife for a total of 11 years, and for most of the time, she's been, shall we say, a more than average size woman. I didn't care how she looked, what's most important is I loved her no matter what she looked like. But I could tell the extra weight was carrying a heavy burden on her daily life. Physically, she had a hard time moving and it took her a long time to get around places. She fatigued quickly if she had to do anything physical for a long periods of time.

For a period of 3 or 4 years, she tried everything to lose her weight: She tried everything from exercising to crash diets to fad diets, but nothing seemed to work. Then one day, I was at work chatting with my co-workers when the topic of weight loss came up. I knew someone who had lap band surgery, so I decided to talk to my wife about it...

Needlessly to say, the thought weight loss surgery peeked her interest, so for the next few weeks, she did all times of research on Lap Band Surgery. For those who don't know, Lap Bank weight loss surgery is basically a device on the top of the stomach to slow the consumption of food. It's an effective surgery but it becomes a pain in the ass because you had to adjust it from time to time. Then one night my wife said she saw something on the internet, "What about this gastric sleeve weight loss surgery?"

My wife explained the surgery to me where they about 25 perfect of the stomach. She found a web site with other's who had the gastric sleeve surgery and 100 perfect had high praise and high recommendations for it. The next couple of months, my wife because a disciple to this web site, reading all the stories of how much weight all these people had lost and the positive impact it had on their lives.

With each stories she read, with each smile she saw, with each happier person she soaked, the more she want to do the gastric surgery. There was one hiccup to this weight loss surgery, it was irreversible. If she decided to go with it, she never go back. I asked her if this what she really wanted. Admittedly, she nodded, "I want to see my kids grow up. I want to be there when each get married. I want to be a grandmother. I want to be there for everything is my kid's life" With that, I was convinced at her determination and as her husband and her biggest supporter I was going to help her get this surgery to make her dream of losing weight a reality.

After three months, and lots of paperwork, the time had finally arrived, Aug 16, 2012. The night before as we were packing her day bag, you can tell she was a extremely nervous. This was life-altering , major surgery and with any surgery there was an element of risk.  Around 8PM, the night before the surgery (I remember this night like it was yesterday) she called her three kids into our room, and with tears flowing she spoke from the heart, "In case something happens to me tomorrow, I just wanted to say that mommy is proud of each of you. I love all of you." She gave each of her kids a big hug and kiss...I had tears in my eyes too cause the thought of losing her would break my heart.

The next day, we arrived at the hospital early in the morning and after all the preliminaries, she was laying in the hospital bed. A blur of nurses, doctors, and orderlies prepared her surgery. I don't think she or I remember half of the things they were saying to us. All that mattered was my wife was going into major surgery, and I was thinking about all the great and beautiful times we had as a couple. My wife was getting nervous as the moment of truth arrived. I did my best to reassure her that everything would go smoothly, but even I was nervous.

That 30 minutes before the surgery seemed like the longest 30 minutes of my life. A million thoughts raced through my head. Will this surgery work? What if something goes wrong? What if doesn't work?? Finally two orderlies walked in and prepared to wheel her to the operation room. I gave my wife a big kiss and we hugged for a minute but it felt like an eternity, united in our love for each other no matter what happens for the next two hours. I shed a tear and said, "I love you with all my heart" then watched as they wheeled her further away from me. Her bed shrinking with ever feet away, until she disappeared around the corner leaving me with a hallway full of bustling nurses, patients, and doctors walking back and forth through the hallway. I stood there for a moment, frozen in time, said a prayer to myself, then walked into the waiting room...This was going to be the longest 2 hours of my life.....


PART II SOON: The Aftermath..."What?? No more Main Street Station Seafood Buffett??"